Past Infinitive

I wonder what I am doing here not ending things or planning to end things?

I've always known that I've hated two things above all others in the unliberated pedagogy of the kids: the grading system and saying goodbye. I wonder (as I ceaselessly do in this space) which is more necessary. Not that tough a question. Damn pragmatists, always counseling the value of the need! The obvious readily surfaces: the latter is the greater need. Not that the acceptance of 'what needs be done' has ever been a comfort.

Maybe some clever primeval teacher invented final exams as an excuse to not say proper goodbyes.