Peb 15, 2006

End of the Four-Month Wait

I have lost all faith in those I trained. It is weak to not find hope, to know nothing beyond the fact that the case is closed, to understand and yet refuse to accept that if they can break their promises to little children, all their poetry is pomp and fart. All their vaunted social consciousness echo advertisements.

"Your heart is in the right place, but you leave it to the wrong people," said my friend. Can I ever dismiss them? At all? They are green, green, green. My friend asks me to consider if hope and effort is best placed elsewhere.

No. I have imagination enough for this.

"What if they don't?"

How can they not have it?

"Upbringing? Insecurities? Apathy? Lethargy? Religion? Politics? Love? You know, all these big excuses for being plain stupid."

They are not that! Or they could be, for now. But there are years.

"They broke their word to the children. The children were waiting. They still wait. People don't really change."

They are kids, my charge. I am responsible.

"Your mea culpas, man! You think they get you anywhere? They have no one word, how can they be poets?"

They are kids. We have years.

"You have only months. Even a mother can only push so far, so long."

Kids.

"Then you caused them. The hypocrites."

Kids.

"They broke their word to children. The children are still waiting for them to come. You have not passed judgment. You cause the children to wait longer."

The case will be closed.

"Punish."

Years.

3 komento:

Joseph Nathan Cruz ayon kay ...

knowing absolutely nothing about this exchange (or whether it's factual or a fictional exercise), i think the lines in quotes are more convincing. intellectual or spiritual children--disciples--rarely come out the way we want them. they are, in the end, their own person; they will take from you what they wish and leave the rest. if you're unfortunate, your legacy would be that they'd turn to be exactly your opposite. fucking ingrates.

b ayon kay ...

my knee-jerk reaction to them would probably be the same as yours - declare them weak, stupid with heads filled with inanities. but as with age and maturity, everything is, unfortunately, considered in hindsight. i just hope for them that the recognition would not come too late. otherwise, the seeds are there, my dear. breathe. and rest your weary head.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

Let go, Luke... the Force will be with them. Always.