I was then a very unhappy young man. I suppose young men are fond of unhappiness. They do their best to be unhappy, and they generally achieve it. And then I was shamed because I discovered an author who was doubtless a very happy man. It must have been 1916 when I came to Walt Whitman, and then I felt ashamed of my unhappiness. I felt ashamed that I tried to be still more unhappy by the reading of Dostoyevski.
—Jorge Luis Borges
—it will help. kesa naman sa students lumabas yang sama ng loob mo
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—or ... worse, maging self-loathing
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—good to hear. mabuti ganyan ka sa kanila. in my book, kahit saang eskuwela ka basta ganyan ka sa estudyante maganda iyan. kesa naman manatili ka diyan tapos maging katulad ka ng mga tanders na masama ang ugali
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—nasa baligtad akong proseso ngayon, binabawasan ko ang convict face. i'm mellowin' down, hahaha
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—weird lang. alam mo sa hum1, large class, pinagsusulat ko sila. yung isang lalaki, absorbed na absorbed, kinakamot yung gilid ng ilong niya ng eraser ng lapis. muntikan ko nang sawayin na para bang sinasaway ko si neneng! haha as in muntikan na talaga
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—sana lang. but the changes inside the classroom, only the students could be the judge of that. i still think may ibang (at baka mas mabuting) natutunan yung mga iba na katulad nyo who had to go through a more punishing routine.
—halimbawa yung hum1 ko, ang igsi ng mga pinapabasa ko. e si mam dadu hinagisan kami ng karamazov
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—at nagpapasalamat pa rin ako sa kanya. sa kanya pala ako unang nakabasa ng virginia woolf . . . miss ormerod ang kuwento
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—hahagisan mo sila ng war and peace?
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—haha ansaya! teach hundred years in episodes siguro. sa panpil, tinalakay namin yan. hal: anong masasabi nila sa sequence nung mahabang ulan, o yung mga bakang nilalalagyan ng label
—o yung masaker na nakalimutan ng lahat. parang as a collection of short stories muna bago iintegrate bilang novel, at least that's how i would do it
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—crime and punishment, isang bagsakan yan ano? hindi kayang tilad-tilarin. miss ko na tuloy mag-dostoyevski
—miss ko na ang canon siguro, kaso super ang takot ko sa downloadable reviews
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—kunsabagay
—how would you teach crime and punishment?
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—ang downer ng denouement na yun. bakit kahit nasa 'rehab' siya parang nakakalungkot pa rin?
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—tama ba? or am i mixing this with ivan k?
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—sino ba yung parang pinadala sa wasteland tapos parang nagbabalik-loob sa diyos?
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—rasko then. of the same cloth kasi. but it's an impressive cloth so okey lang kahit makailang beses ginamit ni dosto
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—ah i see. kadiri talaga si smerdyakov (smerdyankov?) pero stroke of genius ang paggawa ng character na yun
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—gambler kasi siya, hahaha
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—una, for some reason, kahit tinapos mo na ilang beses ang bros.k, sobrang shadowed ni smerds na parang never siyang kabilang sa "bros" ng bros k.
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—yes! ngunit nagkaroon ng culpability yung utak ni ivan k.
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—in a way merging si smerds ng utak ni ivan at (resentment sa) lakas/natural force/beauty ni kuya (dmitri ba?) . . . and he was made possible by the absence of alyosha. kahit pa gaano kaspiritwal ang reasons ni alyosha
—grabe lang yung pasok ng ano nga bang tawag sa chapter na yun? yung inquisitor ba and jesus?
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—YUN!
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—anuano? abt grand inq, i mean, bakit ka napapamura nun!
—dosto orthodox!
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—tapos halik lang, semplang na
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—pero antindi ng kiss na yun! saktong-sakto. feeling ko kahit si dosto haunted ng image na yun
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—at ang matindi pa, yung deep-seated rejection ng halik. in a way yung absence ng halik ang nagmotivate sa paring yun na maging grand inq. tapos nung dumating na, hindi nya kinaya.
